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Written by hank
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Tuesday, 29 September 2009 15:05 |
This story is absurd but true.
You need a bike for Burning Man - it is too big and too hard to get around on foot. But you don’t want to take a good bike up there - the fine, extremely corrosive alkali dust plays hell with any sort of machinery or moving parts. It even got into the plastic zipper of my tent, making it stick until I found a solution. Spraying it with water.
I’d picked up a trash bike for 20 bucks. I’d removed the fenders and Dorman the Drunken had wired a milk crate to the front for me. A motley of spray paint had made it decorative by day, glow tubes made it a wonder at night. It served me well for a couple years.
That year I’d made a few early trips up to the playa and the 80 Acres. (This was before it became clear that Volvos do not like the playa.) I was paid staff in the commissary that year, and was playing around with a homemade gatorade equivalent. Taste tests in the San Francisco area were OK, but everything is different on the playa.
Also, if the DPW crews were going to drink this stuff, it was necessary to win their trust. That meant including them in the R&D. So I’d gone up in June in an effort to win minds and hearts and try an on the spot taste test. The bike came along.
Rather than cart it back, I left it there and reclaimed it upon returning in early August. A couple of round trips to San Francisco and the Volvo died. A last minute ride with a friend got me to the festival, but his Volvo wouldn’t start when we tried to leave. He was a mechanic, and it boded ill that it took him 4 hours to get it going. Overloaded with equipment and limping along, it seemed like a good idea to drop off the bikes at a friend’s in Gerlach.
The bike stayed outside for a year. Every once in while it would pop up in my mind. On my way into the festival the next year, I was armed with oil and tubes and WD 40. As could be expected, the bike was a bit weathered. The spray paint had been eaten away on one side by the alkali dust.
The oil and WD 40 worked wonders and the bike served me well until almost the end of Burning Man. Then the rear axle seized up. The dust had gotten in. Major amounts of oil didn’t help. The bike was shot. It was still necessary to cart it back - couldn’t leave it as garbage.
Soon after getting back it was clean up time. The car got washed and so did the tent. The tent zippers, fouled with playa dust time after time at Burning Man, worked well after the dust was washed away. As I tested a zipper with satisfaction, my eye fell on the bike, propped up a few feet away. I’d already given up on it - oil hadn’t loosened the axle any.
“Of course this won’t work,” I thought to myself, then smiled. “But what the hell. Why not try?” I walked over to the bike and hosed down the rear axle.
It was ridiculous to think water would work on the bike just because it worked on a plastic tent zipper. Too weird. No way. Theoretically impossible.
Hosing it down shouldn’t have worked.
Of course, the rear wheel freed up immediately.
This bothered me. I’m not particularly in love with the laws of physics, but this was a bit much, even if it was associated with Burning Man. A philosophical problem. My friend Irwin - just as puzzled as I - told me to forget it and just ride the bike. It was good advice, but it still bothered me. (Of course, it sort of bothers me that I can’t divide by zero - I’ve thought of talking to an attorney.)
I rode the bike around Berkeley for five days or so before the axle started to seize up again. It got me home. I sat on the steps and stared at the bike, then looked at the hose. Then I went inside and rolled a doobie. No way. I have my dignity. I was not going to water that bike. That first time was just a joke and it shouldn’t have worked.
Naturally I tried the oil and WD 40 again. They didn’t work. That bike was history.
Irwin persuaded me to water the bike again. I told him firmly it shouldn’t have worked the first time, and he damn well knew it. How could he tell me to go water a bike? The engine in his car was giving him problems. I suggested – rather profanely – that he water that.
I watered the bike. It worked.
This time it lasted three days before it seized up and I watered the bike again, shaking my head and muttering about divine absurdity as I did so. Irwin kept tabs but reserved comment.
It only lasted two days this time. I could see a pattern developing. I was going to have to start experimenting with things like avocado dip soon. The prospect was too grim to face.
The bike, axle barely turning, got wheeled down to the local liquor store. I left it unlocked and walked quickly away, glancing back only once. When I drove by a couple of hours later, the bike was gone.
I remember it fondly.
A couple of weeks ago, the speakers on my computer didn’t work. I thought about watering them. |
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 29 September 2009 18:07 |
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Written by Brady Mahaney
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Monday, 28 September 2009 04:54 |
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I ran across a rare video of the Flipside '04 burn. That year's art theme was “Glitter Monkey Rodeo.” The effigy or “man” for that event was “Huna-Man.” a six armed monkey god, with fire balls coming out of his hands. It was built by the same guy who built the Temple for Burning Man this year. One of the things that I noticed about this video, is that there is practically no wind during the burn at all. Other things of note: Pieces of art created by different community members went into the six hands of the giant statue. You can see the crowd running away from the heat on the left side of the image, as it really gets started. Notice how much burning ash goes into the air as the head falls. (this is why can't do burns in California, and have to go all the way to Black Rock, if we ever wanted to do anything like this.
Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX0QVs-I61w I plan on going to Flipside again this spring, and would love to get more folks from San Diego to come.
Gadget |
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Decom Tix Price Break Coming Up |
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Written by Brady Mahaney
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Friday, 18 September 2009 22:47 |
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Well, I hope that you all made it home safe from what ever you did over the long weekend. Decom Season is upon us. One last big event for the year. Ticket for SD Decom "Dreamland Station" have been on sale since before the burn. Tomorrow (Sat.) is your last day to buy tickets at the first tier prices. http://www.socalde.com/tickets.htm |
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Last Updated on Friday, 18 September 2009 23:10 |
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2009 Temple Early Preview |
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Written by Brady Mahaney
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Monday, 24 August 2009 22:44 |
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My friends from Austin are working on the Temple this year. Here is an early report from them with some pics. Here is an update from the Temple Crew.
http://communityartmakers.com/ |
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